It is such a bless to have someone who you like, likes you back.

Because most of the time, I don't.

Even if a damn good looking guy suddenly come up and confess to me, I don't know what will I react either.

I can't even imagine how its like to be in a real relationship.

I can't imagine what kinda person I'll turn into when I'm in a relationship.

Being in a relationship, there's lots of commitment you have to give into. Both must sacrifice.  You'll be so emotional, so care for that person until you lose yourself. So scary right.....

I wish I can just don't think so much and dip myself into one real relationship and work it out against all odds.  But often serious relationship won't work as long as non-serious one. Blame it on the stress and seriousness. And I don't know what's withdrawing me back.

The fear of being commited in a relationship, the fear of falling in love, the fear of thinking about my future.

I guess the past experiences suck, that's why I feel so insecure toward love.  And I know I shall not generalize nor assume all the relationships in this world will eventually turn out to be a failure.

According to an article I've read in my MUET exam, it says due to stress, you will seem to withdraw yourself from being commited to any relationship/responsibility. You just want to be alone sometimes, so that you'll be stress-free.
But the fact is, no one can live without stress. When one's without stress, one's dead. How true can that be?

Somebody help me. T_______T

P/s : I've GOT to read more newspapers.

Labels: EmoSteph, Silly Thoughts

Girls, have you ever confessed to any guys you like before??

Frankly to me, I never did that before even once. -_-''

I've never told anyone I like him EVEN if I really do.

Maybe I have no guts, maybe I just don't wanna be rejected.

Sometimes, even if I know he likes me too, but I just won't speak out.. Shy I guess???

I am always worrying about... What if he rejects me? Will I be damn sad? Will I ever regret confessing to him? Will I make myself sound desperate and cheap?

I'd rather keep my own feelings deep down inside my heart, than telling out. So sometimes I do miss out some chances of being together with, and I know I should tell out how I feel instead of being quiet all along.. But still, when it comes to that particular moment when its time to confess, I still find it damn hard to open my mouth..

Sometimes I really admire those girls who dare to confess to the boys they like. I really love their guts. Because that is exactly what I lack of.

Even if they are being rejected, at least they fight for it.

They tell out, they express their feelings out nakedly.

They dare to fight for their own true love.

They believe the guy deserves to know.

Because they believe in this...


And they have no regrets....

Some feel sad even if she's being rejected, while some will just feel disappointed, and move on with her own life with an optimistic mind that she will, some day find someone who mutually loves her back as well.

I was being brought up in such a way that I will never ever confess to the guy I like. The most also, hint lo. But I guess the guy gets it also la. But I will normally wait until the guy say it out first. xD

I guess that's girls, right? Despite the sexual equality, I still, somehow, feel that a guy should do what a guy should do. =)

Don't mind this post, I'm just blabbing and expressing my feelings out. RANDOM! xD

Labels: Love, Silly Thoughts

Me and my friends were asking each other how many ex(s) we had before juz now, and to me, i had 2. but both also not official wan.

We've never met each other before, we met in the internet. Please don't say I'm lifeless or a geek cuz I'm virtually having a relationship with a people INSIDE the computer cuz I'm not.

I know it sounds like this to all of you but trust me, you will have that thought vanished from your head once you experience it. I know its silly but during that time, both of us are really true about the relationship,we even put so much efforts to create miracles..

So when people start asking me how many ex(s) I had before, I really don't know how to answer.
I used to say "Yes, I had two before" but when they started asking questions like, "Have you guys hold hands before? Have you guys kissed each other or go out dating before?"

I feel so awkward and shameful when it comes to questions like that.
Its either I'll say no or I'll just say yes to avoid any other unecessary questions.
The fact is, we have never hold hands before, never met with each other before.
But both of us can cry over problems that we faced in our relationships, heart ache each time we both mention about breaking ups.
Its not as easy as you thought. They are not robots and they need love and want to love others too..
We just met each other in the wrong place..

During our convo just now, I said "No,I don't have any ex(s) before."
That is the time where I'm being so honest to myself and yet so unfair to my exs.
They acknowledged its existence but Im just being in the state of denial. T.T

So they were asking me why don't I have any ex before.
Its not that nobody likes me, I do have some friends around me are having some feelings towards me.
But I can clearly identify their flaws and good points immediately.
And most of the time their flaws tend to cover over their good points and thats why I'm still single until today.
I admit I'm very,very choosy. So if I have chosen you, be glad that you are the one.You even have to pray God liao wtf..

I have friends around me, had around 4-5 exs before already and I have none!
They're like soooooo easily accept someone and so fast can get a bf wan!!
Reasons is I am so afraid of getting hurt.
I've been hurt so so so so so deep by my so called first ex already.
Second ex is the best, we're still best friends until now. And I really appreciate that. :)

Back to last time, I can cry whenever I mentioned about his name in front of my sister. I can cry even I'm having classes in the lab or wherever. I can cry anytime anywhere whenever I thought about him.
I was so weak and vulnerable.
I was so childish last time...
I just simply accepted him as my first 'bf' and ended up getting so hurt and literally never believe in true love anymore.
Never believe in happily ever after that always happen in fairy tales. Never love others like I've never been hurt.
I know it sucks and I've tried to forget about the scars and let the bygones be bygones and try accepting others but I just can't do it T_______T

Frankly,I am so afraid of getting hurt..
I am so protective over myself..
I don't let people that I'm not familiar with get close to me.
According to some horoscope readings, Leo people really scared to get hurt. They would rather DON'T LOVE at all, than to get hurt in relationships..
And I am a typical Leo girl.

I really hope that someday, there's someone which can make me feel so damn secure, feel so sweet, feel so warm, feel like its actually so happy falling in love.
And actually made me feel like he's the one for the rest of my life...

I believe there's this day, and I never give up waiting for it... =)

And I hope all of you do the same too. One fine day your dream guy or girl will appear..

Labels: Silly Thoughts

Alot of people have been asking whether they should go for a relationship at this age or not.

Some even got their heart broken because their parents rejected their relationships sigh..

Well,if you manage to handle both efficiently, WHY NOT?

And some of my friends had been asking the same question over and over again...Maybe they think they should start off a lil bit later..

I've came across with some people who just can't manage both efficiently.. Its normal if you miss your bf but if you miss him until you fail to study, fail to do your assignment, 24/7 has been daydreaming about him, then I suggest you better not get a bf now. Its so clear that you can't set your priority. At this stage if you were to let yourself fully into a relationship, and at the same time you failed to manage your studies, I'm sure you're gonna fail big time in your exams..

Handling a relationship aint easy.. You people will have lots of assignments piling up on your study table, and if you are an active member in some huge clubs or society, and if there are some important event coming up, you will be very busy for him too.. You have to allocate some time for him , to accompany him, maybe at night where both of you are relaxing, you guys can hang out on the phone, chat in MSN or even webcam with each other.. That will be more than enough..
A relationship does not require 24/7 companion, a lil bit, but not too much will be just nice~
But of course you can't totally neglect him too even if you are too busy. Sometimes just a short caring sms is enough to put a smile on her face :)

I don't know why some people will just miss the other half soooooooo badly until she can totally forget about her studies! -__-'' What are they thinking about ah??
When its time to concentrate, just concentrate. When its time to relax, just go relax lah~
If you can do this, then I don't see any problems in having a bf right now..

To me, if I've met the right one and the one that will give me this "special" feeling, I'll go for it.. =P
Even I'm just in my 1st year of studies, if I am positive that I can manage my relationship and studies at the same time, why not?? Meeting the right person aint easy, and if he's not available anymore you will start crying and regretting but then there's no point crying over the spilt milk anymore!..

Many people say that falling in love will make your results go worse. I beg to differ.. There are some cases, a guy that is totally lazy, has totally given up on his studies. Always drown himself in the world of games, does not give a damn on his homework and so on..And he met this girl that he loves alot, and the girl has high requirements in choosing for a bf, and he changed into a better person.. Sometimes, love can make wonders.. =)

If you are rejecting someone by saying "I wanna concentrate on my studies..."
That might be true to someone but to me its bullshit. You are not 10 or 11 already and you are already an independent person. Even if you are not, I'm sure you will have your own priorities right? Do you know how nice it feels when you are busy on work for the whole day, and during the silent night there's someone lending you ears to hear about your day? That's the best feeling ever man. And its called The College Life! ^.^

I've seen many despo in college searching high and low for the other half.Some even feel so desperate that they do not even know whether the person he chose suits him or not.. And sooner or later only you found out that she is not your piece of cake, and that time you have already hurt a girl's feelings.. So better open your eyes widely,think twice before you started falling in love. =)

Labels: Silly Thoughts

Labels: Silly Thoughts

Steph. Sweet 24. Leo. A girl who writes to express not to impress.(Forgive me if I accidentally impressed u LOL :P) A girl who is constantly searching for meaning of life and loves to be showered with inspiration. She wants to be somebody in the future. Keep on reading to know more about her. Leave any comments if you feel like it, she'll be glad! Rock on. ♥