It is such a bless to have someone who you like, likes you back.

Because most of the time, I don't.

Even if a damn good looking guy suddenly come up and confess to me, I don't know what will I react either.

I can't even imagine how its like to be in a real relationship.

I can't imagine what kinda person I'll turn into when I'm in a relationship.

Being in a relationship, there's lots of commitment you have to give into. Both must sacrifice.  You'll be so emotional, so care for that person until you lose yourself. So scary right.....

I wish I can just don't think so much and dip myself into one real relationship and work it out against all odds.  But often serious relationship won't work as long as non-serious one. Blame it on the stress and seriousness. And I don't know what's withdrawing me back.

The fear of being commited in a relationship, the fear of falling in love, the fear of thinking about my future.

I guess the past experiences suck, that's why I feel so insecure toward love.  And I know I shall not generalize nor assume all the relationships in this world will eventually turn out to be a failure.

According to an article I've read in my MUET exam, it says due to stress, you will seem to withdraw yourself from being commited to any relationship/responsibility. You just want to be alone sometimes, so that you'll be stress-free.
But the fact is, no one can live without stress. When one's without stress, one's dead. How true can that be?

Somebody help me. T_______T

P/s : I've GOT to read more newspapers.

Labels: EmoSteph, Silly Thoughts

11/4/2009, two friends of mine were born on this day.

Happy birthday Ah Fu and Vincent.

May God bless both of you and may all your wishes come through. :)

No,they are not twins,haha.

Just came back from celebrating birthday with Ah Fu. Really fun! ^.^

Went to buy present at 4 something, with Ah Han, Jan Hong, Rachel and my sista.

Bought something Ah Fu really love. Felt damn satisfied! :)

Sometimes I really kinda jeles Ah Hann and Jan Hong, both of them can go out together.. Can hold each other's hands.. Can hug each other...*sigh when will be my turn T.T

My taste too high, and those that i love will never love me, its so true!!

Maybe I'll be single till my last breath... Who knows...........

Labels: EmoSteph

I just woke up from my nap..

A long long 5 hours of nap..

I was crying and crying non stop inside that dreams..

I cannot stop crying.. I wanted to stop but the tears just kept pouring down heavier..

I suddenly woke up and realized there's lots of tears on my face...

In my memory, I've been crying since I had that dream....

Around few hours???

I don't know what happened.. T.T

Its really really scary.. I scared I have some sort of serious depression or something....

I'm so glad that I cried it all out...

A few hours of crying let myself released everything - Stress, personality confusion and so on....

And now I'm feeling so much better, so much relieved...

Its like reincarnation... And I'm ready to face the world again...

I literally cried like this on my bed lol just imagine there's a pillow under the head lol.

Labels: EmoSteph

I can't believe I almost broke down today.
I'm not emo or anything just, plain stress.
I feel like scolding people, I feel like screaming I feel like shouting. I feel like saying out whatever that makes me feel annoyed. I don't feel like myself today..

I had class at 11 o'clock today. Until 12.
Right after that I went for Yukata Girls duty. I sold 5 coupons hooray! ^.^
I wore the bloody hot Yukata for 2 hours. And I'm ok with it, its bearable.
After 2 o'clock I have class until 4.
After my class I had a discussion with my friends until 5.
Came back and wanted to print my script out but the printer aint working.
I refilled the printer and now the ink stain on my hands are still there.
Then I put back the ink and try to print again. But still nothing happenes.
I got really pissed at it so I quickly took my bath and went down for my discussion at 6 o'clock.
I had discussion from 6 o'clock to 8.
I had my half an hour dinner.
From 830 I went for Japanese dance practice until 11 o'clock.
And right now I'm preparing to go down for another discussion again.

I'm trying so damn hard to control my feelings today, I'm trying so damn hard not to scold everyone not so show my angry faces at everyone. When I'm having lots of stress my temper will go real bad.Most of the people will choose not to talk to me and I will prefer them to calm me down or make me laugh actually.I'm trying so hard to think positively and act positively during the discussion. Guess everyone will also have their own stress. And sometimes when you just hold on to it,things will be alright.And if you really couldn't stand it anymore,you'll some sort of like having some psychological problems where you can suddenly cry or laugh or scold.Sometimes I'm wondering whether i'm alright or not because I really can cry or laugh anytime.T.T....

Labels: EmoSteph, Rant

Steph. Sweet 24. Leo. A girl who writes to express not to impress.(Forgive me if I accidentally impressed u LOL :P) A girl who is constantly searching for meaning of life and loves to be showered with inspiration. She wants to be somebody in the future. Keep on reading to know more about her. Leave any comments if you feel like it, she'll be glad! Rock on. ♥