Steph.Addiction

Posted Tuesday, February 01, 2011 // 0 comments (+)

sometimes i feel like God has been really really good to me.

i met with an accident when i was around 5-6 years old. i was knocked out on the spot. and when i opened my eyes, my whole body was swiped with yellow medicine, and i could barely walk.

and i had stitches on my head.

my parents were worried sick, but right now i'm still alive and kicking.

am i lucky or what?

secondly, i have a bunch of awesome friends. i have to admit, i don't have much friends. whenever i feel like heart talking to someone, i look at my handphone contacts, there are almost none that i can call up and just completely release my emotions. i am a bit anti social xD...just had a gathering with my secondary school friends, the naive memories that we had, it was really nice. we just be who we are, just say what we want, and in the end, we are still laughing at each other.

am i lucky to have them or what?

thirdly, i have to admit my love life isn't always smooth. i learn almost everything through the hard way. from seeing how cruel a guy can be, till seeing some old couples who still gives each other hope till their last breath, i really learnt a lot. sorry i'm not that young and naive girl who knows nothing anymore, who has guts to do everything like she's not afraid of the world because i've seen how ugly this society can become. how ugly a person's heart can be. but i'm not afraid, i dare to try. i take steps more carefully right now and won't do anything without thinking twice because i don't want to end up hurting myself and also other people around me. when it comes, it comes. when it doesn't, well.. i can always go and adopt any children...T.T.... and right now, i'm full of scars, but these scars are what made me strong!

sometimes i wake up feeling like shit, thinking that why i didn't do anything wrong but i will end up in such shitty situations? there's so many times i wonder why and why and why i can't get what i want. there are so many times i wanna say, fuck all these shits. but i realized this is just another life process which i have to go through, years later i will just say... ''oh, that forms another chapter of my life.. :D '' life is not easy. there are so much things that you will have to go through in my future, you just have to be really strong.

when you are heartbroken till the max, you will be awesome instead. =D

so should i be glad that God makes me experience all these, so that i can tackle every obstacles with a stronger heart and mind?

i do feel angry sometimes, in fact, a lot of times when people around me do something wrong. people might think that i'm an angry person, but this is because i care about them. i dont want them to continue doing that mistakes without realizing it. i want to differentiate what is right and what is wrong, make it clear that between righteous and faults, there are a HUGE gap and they can never mix together.

so should i be glad that i still hold on to my own beliefs and still standing on my own opinion even though some might not agree?

my friend always complain that my blog contains too much words and they are lazy to read. but all these words come from the bottom of my heart and i do hope you all will read words by words!I will update a pictorial next post i promise. :D