Steph.Addiction

Posted Wednesday, December 29, 2010 // 2 comments (+)

this is probably the last entry that you are going to see me posting my heart out.

the reasons why i chose not to/why i don't have the urge to do so anymore is because:

1) I guess I PMS (WTF)
2) Letting others know too much about me is just not good.
3) I want others to call me as ''the mysterious girl'' (seriously, no joke)
4) I feel insecure about others knowing me too much. I don't want them to know so much about me, that they judge me based on how i blog, before knowing me in real person.
5) I don't want people to know what kind of person I am through my blog. you know, blogging is like, OK I know this girl! her name is stephanie, she is 20 years old. She has 2 pets namely timmy and rooney! they are her happy pills! she loves to go this place, that place to yumcha! etc...... and ended up none of them actually come to me, and ask about my name, about my age, about my hobby, hang out with me to find out more about me. :(
That's pretty sad and pathetic isn't it? Its like, oh she is stephanie lo. she always blog one. you wanna know more bout her ah? go her blog la!
You know me, but I don't know you.
This apply to all-my-friends. I don't want people to know what I'm up to currently through my blog. We will have nothing to catch up anymore. When you read my blog updates, you will know what I'm up to. You already know everything without even asking! How can!

The ugly truth is, I'm one of them who did this. I read my friend's blog, or coursemate's blog just to know more about him/her instead of greeting her face to face, introducing myself and at least hear how she sounds like? Everyday I read her blog and I know what kinda person she is, and I just won't wanna go and know her more.

Everyday when I have updates, people will read everything, then close the tab, done. And that's just it. How much do we know about each other? I don't really like the feeling of ''you know me more than I know you.'' That's unfair. If you know alot about me, trust me. I wanna know more about you too.

So yeah, this is probably the last entry you will see me talking my heart out in public. I will still blog, no worries. I will still take pictures with my friends, pets and food, and blog. But just on the surface, never go too deep. Im sorry. I still love to be called ''the mysterious girl'!

P/s : Yesterday was the very first time I can completely manipulate my brain. I know by common sense/logic all these things will never happen anymore, but as if I will listen to them!! I started thinking so much so much so much and then I tell myself strictly, ''don't think. stop thinking. RIGHT NOW. go to bed.'' and then I really stopped thinking, and go to bed! How magical is that! I think I should do that more often. Takkan the brain is mine but I can't control it right! I see HOPE. :)