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Posted Friday, October 15, 2010 // 0 comments (+)
Hi people, I'm going to say something that I wanted to say long long time ago...

Probably this is the biggest post ever.. Because right after this posts, you guys will know, nothing's gonna be the same ever again.

First of all, I have to admit that, I really love going online, going MSN, going on Facebook, going on Twitter, going on blog.

But recently, I've got this issue - I started hating them.

I hate them because they actually LOOK like I've became closer with peoples. Yes, in some sort of ways, they do. They pull me closer to strangers,but further away from my close friends. I know alot of people through this social website. I know many juniors, friend's friends and so on... Thank social network for that. But I've realized, my close friends are getting further away from me.

Reason? Because they already knew what I'm up to based on my status updates, know where I've been based on my pictures that I've uploaded, know how I felt lately in my blog without actually asking me how am I doing.........

You know, sometimes I'd rather people come and talk to me in person, come and really have a talk instead of just knowing how i'm doing through my blog. I can't possibly be telling out everything about how i feel in my blog right......... This moment I might be smiling by putting a ^_^ right here but next moment I might be feeling sad inside my heart.... This moment I might be very excited about something but the next moment I might be feeling disappointed over something bcuz I prefer to hide all the negative stuffs behind.......

People text less just because they know how you're doing, know you ''already got a date'' when they wanna ask you go out yumcha, assume that you are busy because you said you've got lots of movies/dramas to catch up with.. But do you know that actually your call is worth so much more than sitting down and watch dramas??? dramas are dead, people are alive.. so don't be afraid of being turned down! never ask, never get the chance...

T_________T I don't know la... I'm already 20 years old and I still don't know where I'm heading to...

You know, every day every night, every fucking seconds I'm thinking right there, what I want to be, who I want to be, how I define happiness, is my life doing great...... I'm thinking about all these stupid shits that makes my mind so complicated.. that's why I love watching movies/dramas..when i'm watching, I'm into other people's world, I STOP THINKING.

I really wanna stop thinking and bail myself out of all these complexity.. My brain just can't afford to be these complex you know? its like, okay you go clubbing every single day, you live your life so luxurious, you have lots of girl friends with you but hell lot of dramas going on, you SEEMED to be happy but ... don't you feel empty inside your heart??

I once read an article, about mild depression... All the symptoms that they have stated over there, I think I had them all.... Am I suffering from mild depression??? I  hope I am not.....Sometimes I think I'm not, sometimes I think I am...........I just... need to find who I am actually and what I really wanted and how I define REAL happiness.....T.T

Growing up ain't easy at all.. Dealing with loneliness, dealing with lies, dealing with betrayals, dealing with love, dealing with studies, dealing with work, dealing with sacrificions make you feel like you wanna die.... I know I'm not strong at all.. but I am getting the hang of it.... don't worry, suiciding is never my choice..

Im stucked at this stage between ''Be yourself'' and ''Life is not about being who you are, is about creating yourself''.


sigh......The mind, the brain, is so effing complicated!!! I wish I'm just a carefree person....a very simple girl...... I really wish.....

Like its okay if the sky falls down, its a damn big blanket anyway.....But it's definitely not in my case... =(

I'm going to update my status so much lesser, so so so much lesser compared to the older days... Twitter, yeah maybe I'll still be active in it... Because people that I'm following, I love them...=)

Facebook? People say things, people do things for only one reason - To attract attention..

So guess I'm not going to be in there for long... Hehe...

And blog? Yeah I love blogging, that's one thing I'm definitely going to continue doing....

Just......... if you miss me, just talk to me instead of stalking me and stuffs... Because I prefer talking in person so much more.....

Now I finally understand why no LDR for some people...because its just simply..........bullshit.. Unless you guys have faith in other person/trust that person real well/know that person real good, just don't start on any LDR.......face to face relationship is the best....It'll always be......

I hate online world, its virtual, its not real.

I'm going back to basic, just going to be real and sincere. Less online, less drama, people that I dislike, I'm gonna just ignore about them, and just work hard on my goals.. Just... BE REAL PEOPLE. I HATE PEOPLE FAKING THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wanna be like my best friend - never go online, never go facebook, never care about all these shits. Life to her is only about studies, assignments, family, love, work hard, future, happiness, simplicity, and care less about others..... Her life is so simple!!!....

I'm sorry
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Steph. Sweet 24. Leo. A girl who writes to express not to impress.(Forgive me if I accidentally impressed u LOL :P) A girl who is constantly searching for meaning of life and loves to be showered with inspiration. She wants to be somebody in the future. Keep on reading to know more about her. Leave any comments if you feel like it, she'll be glad! Rock on. ♥