Posted Monday, May 12, 2008 // 3 comments (+)My font color hard to read anot? to me its not, but i dunno how bout you guys..
if hard to read must tell me ah =DD
Just now eXP asked me to go out for their gathering.. at night wor.. lol.. i can go out la, but normally with friends.. and i don' think my sister wanna follow me out lor.. lolz.. cuz all oso i dunno wan..
i know eXP and tuckie nia.. so how ah.. -.-''
all the boys... and only both of us girls.. somemore dunno my sister wanna go anot.. (90% she's not going)
so i think, maybe not going gua.. lol... this saturday feel like going KL to celebrate joyce's birthday.. gotta ask my friends first...
anyway, i lost weight! ^_^.. but ah.. just like 1 kg i guess.. lol.. but i think its my breast slim ady la.. lol wtf.. T.T.......... like that i'd rather don't lose any weight...
having some issues with ernest le.. sigh.. dunno why it became like this one.. i just want us to talk like normal friends also cannot.. aih... very sucks la love this kinda thing... can always make my mood go deep down.. its like, ok today supposed to be a very nice day.. but once i think about love, i'll go -->
haih....... just let it be....
i really feel like i'm not ready for a relationship yet.. so i apologize to keep you waiting... you know..
hmm... today i watch tv, i saw those girls talking about what they want in guys.. and yeah after i watch it i feel really jealous lol.. cuz its really really sweet.. but i'm not ready for those yet.. lol
well maybe after i enter uni for some period of time, mix with different other people, met with different other people, i might change, and maybe will have a bf that time i also dont know..
sigh.. why all the ''good guys'' and potential bf material must be like so far away? i just.. don't like distance relationship...i still feel its the best if both of you can be together very very often, can see what he's doing, how he's doing right now,better than telling someone what you're doing thru calls, smses, and computer right? sigh.. i really feel like escaping from the matter of love, not to think about it and live my life as simple as possible.. i saw you posting in those cupid's corner thread, i know you're waiting for me to come back to you.. even if i really go back to you, i will feel extremely guilty for i'm faking myself to go back, just to let you happy you understand?
i don't wanna see people around me sad, i want them to be happy. its not that i don't want them sad so that i will not have to worry about them.. no.. i want them to be truely, really happy..
when someone you like is happy, naturally you will feel happy too right? sigh...........................
i know because of me, because of me being so stubborn don't wanna try accepting you back, you got so frustrated and emo.. but i really... really don't wanna involve in relationship...
having a bf is like a burden to me.. i'm just saying it in a crude way.. everyone feels so too, who dare to say having a bf/ gf is not a burden? lets see, you have to take care another person? and yet i still cannot take care of myself properly.. not to say taking care of another person.. you have to behave yourself, restrict yourself from doing things you like, or you have to sacrifice doing things that you like just to accompany him/her.. it will somehow, little by little, become your burden... i know after this thread, you will probably don't wanna be friend with me anymore.. but i just wanna make things clear, and hope you can try, try to love other girls.....yeah i know none of them can replace me, like what u've said.. nobody can replace you either, because they are not you.. they are not ernest.. there's only 1 ernest, 1 you.. how can someone else replace you?! but i will find others,whom i have feelings on him, and at the same time he's those type that i like... and you too.. don't try to find someone to replace me, its very unfair for that girl.. you have to really try to love other girls.. there's like 13506834068347630 girls around the whole wide world, and you can say none of them meet your criteria?
heartbreak needs time to heal.. and love yourself, do not change the way you believed in true love just because of me, will you? sometimes i'm very tired already thinking about all these lovey dovey stuff... its getting complicated.. and i say i don't want, means i don't want.. no way that i'm gonna change my decision anymore..
i should get my priority right, that is.. studies come first.. and friends come first..
i care for everyone that i know, i really really do..
do you want me to go back to you, and pretend that i still love you very much, and till the day we get married only i say, sorry i just cant do it.. i've been faking my own feelings for so many years.. and i don't wanna lie to you anymore.. do you want this to happen?! i know if i drag things longer, i'll become worse... pls.... i hope we can handle this maturedly, and next time even we meet, we can still greet each other with a smile on our face... =)
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